You stared in sheer disbelief at the pony-shaped novelty lamp you had bought a few weeks prior, that was now looking at you with a happy smile. “So all this time you were a real pony?!”

“Nope,” chirped the lamp as if she was amused by the notion, “Just a lamp.”

“Lamps don’t walk around!” you insisted, “Or talk!”

“Not to worry, Master,” she said proudly, “You won’t have to suffer such inferior lamps with me around.”

“Aggghhh!” you growled, “It’s maddening! You sat there motionless for weeks! How do you do it?!”

“It’s what I’m for,” she said, “I’m a lamp.”

“All this time… Look, when I bought you, I thought you were some kind of cute novelty pony-shaped lamp…” you paused briefly while her smile widened from being called cute, “I didn’t think you actually were a pony… lamp.”

“I assumed you knew, Master,” she said softly, “You could have just asked.”

You flopped down on the couch, utterly defeated, and stared down at the mosquito that lay in your hand. It was just beginning to stir and regain consciousness after you swatted it. “I’m never going to get used to this place. Winged horses and dragons and mosquito ponies and lamps that talk and walk around like bloody Fantasia…”

The mosquito buzzed from your hand and hovered in front of your face. “Jerk!” she snapped with a scoff before flying dopily out the window.

“You started it!” you yelled back before burying your face in your hands. “I need a drink!” You sat there for a few minutes just trying to make heads or tails of things when you felt something clamber onto the couch.

The lamp was sitting beside you, holding a bottle of cider in her little porcelain hooves.

“Thanks,” you said as you took the drink, “You’re a great… lamp.” You and the lamp locked eyes and both smiled, and you realized she wasn’t even half as strange as some of the things you had seen in Equestria. You reached over to pat her little glass head and immediately pulled away. “Aaagh!” you said in surprise.

“Careful, Master! I tend to get a bit warm.”